Then you should buy my book.
It's called “Adulthood for Beginners: All the Life Secrets Nobody Bothered to Tell You.” It's the funny life survival guide you didn't know you needed. It features advice on dating, friendships, jobs, happiness and generally not looking like a dumbass.
Basically, I was an idiot so you don't have to be. Order your copy now!
Here's what some people have said about it so far:
“Darn funny...an advice book aimed at young people that might just do them some good while providing a laugh or two.” — Associated Press.
“It’s the perfect gift for a high school or college graduate.” — Library Journal.
“The book is, truly, a guide to being an adult in the modern age. ” — Chicago Tribune
You can also order it from these other fine retailers below: